Light Silk

Here are some of the things you will realize when you go to a cafe alone.

1. People will stare at you. Wondering what are you doing alone.

2. You want to go to the toilet but you can't. Because, who's gonna take care of your stuff? (I was in the middle of something)

3. Lots of mugs on your table. It looks like you're spending so much money but in fact, it is just one drink.

4. You know what you'll be doing at the cafe. You concentrate more when you're alone and no one will tell you they want to go back early.

5. After yr work is done, you will spend a lot of time watching YouTube or discovering Pinterest. What the heck? It is your time! 

6. You'll watch the TV? Why? Because it happens to be right in front of you and the funniest video will be on. You'll laugh by yourself. Sad. Not really. You won't care. Well, I won't care.

7. You won't go back until you're tired and realize you have work tomorrow.

Good night. 

I wish you all the best. I won't apologies for starting it this way but I really do wish you the best. I hope you'll end your sickness. I hope the haze will go away. I hope it will stop. My hope for you dear Weather is to be your best. I enjoy your sunshine but I dispise the fact that I can't see the sun. I see dust in the air. I see polluted air.

You've been unwell. I get it. I understand you. However, your sickness has caused me sickness too. I've been well over a week being sick. Due to you, dear Weather. I wish you all the best. I mean it. I want the best from you.

Sincerely,

The Blogger 

Okay, makeup story. I also discovered eyeshadow. Putting all sorts of colors on my lids. Ugh... When I look back! Especially them brows! Disgusting. I had a war with my brows. I didn't understand why they wouldn't curve. It turned out that I have straight brows. Born with them. I can proudly say nowadays that I can pull off the Korean brows now. Ha! I still have a war with them brows. It is more about maintaining them. Constantly trying to think when should I go and thread them. They're straight and bushy. After high school, I returned to Malaysia. I grew the brows out. Patiently waiting for them to blossom. It just looked horrible for a month. 

Enough with the brow story. I wanted to add the eyeliner story. The panda liner. I thought I "rocked" it. I even wore baggy jeans and so on. Just thought I'd make myself a rock chick. Ha! Oh how horrible those panda liners were. 

After I came back, I stopped wearing makeup for two years. Enjoying the makeup-free world. It was about the hair now! The kind of texture of my hair is the wavy curly type. The type where you can have a love and hate relationship with it. It look amazing for a minute and when it gets really hot, it frizzes like crazy. So, I was all crazy about rebonding (straightening). I would beg my mom to take me to the salon and rebond my hair. Rebonding is hella expensive. The cheap ones will ruin your hair. Been there done that. Cheap. Done! Expensive? Done! That straightening hair phase went for a good 4 years. What a waste! I remember that I looking like a China Doll because it really looked like I stole the hair of a China Doll. Too straight. I should tell my young self to embrace those curls. This was before the discovery of YouTube. MySpace was big back then but my parents didn't introduce me to the Internet. Hmmm... Thank you parents! Remember Friendster? Hahahahahaha! Okay, stop talking about social media.

The year of university. The year of "freedom". The years when I could sleep, hang out and skip class whenever I wanted to! Okay kids, don't skip classes! I also discovered Kawaii makeup aka Japanese makeup. I wanted to look like those Vivi models. And also the discovery of Korean makeup. Thanks to K-pop. I started exploring YouTube. Discovered Michelle Phan. Then I slowly understood makeup. I starred subscribing to YouTuber with similar eye shape and as well as face shape. I loved the idea of enhancing my eyes without drawing a panda liner. 

This is a long story. Please continue to read.

There was also the discovery of double eyelid glue and tape. I use double eyelid tapes till today. That tape is used to balance my eyelids whenever they are unbalanced. Especially when I don't get enough sleep. One eye is bigger than the other. Too big than the other. 

I bought a lot of cheap makeup. That's what you get for watching a lot of Makeup Collection on YouTube. I end up giving them away. I realized it was ridiculous to keep an excessive amount of makeup. Sigh. I then started buying makeup for my skin. I realized that I shouldn't just buy any kind of makeup. I buy things that I would wear. I don't just shop like I didn't care. I care about my skin. Nowadays, i make sure the makeup I buy won't ruin my skin since I have sensitive skin. I also got myself to care about skincare. Well, that was because I worked with a skin care company. I learnt that I had so many problems with my skin. I was so afraid. I started taking care of my skin. Before, I slept with my makeup on and didn't care about double cleansing. Today, I triple cleanse. I make sure everything is off. I also bought skin care products for my skin type. I use drug store products. They're good enough. I cleanse. I tone. I use serum. I moisturize. I do the A to Z routine. It satisfy me to know how well my skin is doing.

I think I'll stop here now. I'll write more stories when someone would request one. So, bye for now. 

Because:

1. I wasn't organized. I didn't organize what I wanted to blog. I'm just not organized. Next to me is a list of blog tittles. Kinda helping me with ideas of blog posts. I've listed them down. And now it is just for me to blog about them. 

2. Too many excuses. I kept telling myself the reason my blog isn't moving is because of work. I've been postponing/abandoning my blog because of work. You know Liyana, there is this thing called scheduled post? 

3. Trying to figure out what my blog is. This is what they call rebranding. Was it a brand to begin with? I've decided what this blog should be. A lifestyle blog. It can be about anything. My experiences. But I'll write it in a diary kinda way. They say, "relatable". Hence the change in the About The Blog section. 

"This is a blog for me, the author, to share my experience (so far) to the world. This is a sort of diary of mine.  I'll never know who is reading my blog. So, thank you for visiting you wonderful person!"

4. I have expectations. High expectations which I should lower down. I started blogging since 2007. Yes, I blogged since 2009. Aaaah, those years of immaturity at blogging. I blogged about emo stuff. I thought I was great back then. I thought my photos were great! They were great back then! I look back, they looked shit. Well, you know? You get a DSLR and you immediately call yourself a photographer. Hahahaha! What the hell was I thinking? I read so many blogs (another post on that). I followed Song of Style. Drew her, thought it was the bomb! Hella ugly. I also looked at the way I wrote my blog. You would puke reading it. I puked! Oh, those years. You don't see those post since 2007 because I've changed and moved blogs so many times. I kept reading blogs and my expectation of my blog became different. I wanted my blog to be just like those blogs I read. I was sucked into the blogging world. I started learning how to do HTML. Well, I didn't learn. I copied what I wanted. I looked for the codes. I'm a bit lost nowadays. Nowadays, I buy templates. Why? Because I can afford to buy a layout. The real answers is: I'm Lazy. 

I hope you've enjoyed reading this. I enjoyed writing this post. More to come. I promise.